How are you?
Hi. It’s been a while. How are you coping with everything? All the changes brought about by life? With the seemingly unending effect of pandemic? It is so hard, if you asked me. I cannot remember how many nights I spent crying on my sleep. Wondering when will it be okay? When this will stop? When will I be able to visit home again. When will I see my family again? When will I be able to see my friends and embrace them? Some days are just harder than others, and I try my best to go on, taking it slowly. I hope you go on as well and never let this win over you.
I just realized
That it has been more than 5 years that I made an original Tumblr post, all of my recent post for the past years are from my Instagram and Twitter account.
Funny how I don’t seem to realize it earlier that I was still able to remember my log-in credentials after years of not using this account, when I always forgot the password minutes after resetting it.
It feels good to back here.
Sunday. 7th of February, 2021 at exactly 11:59 am in the morning I begin writing this blog.
I had been sulking in bed for the past several hours, when I should be out there in my normal weekend routine – driving away from the city, diving into the blue and putting my duties in the corner, sulk in oblivion before Monday hits again. That is my routine and I am happy with it - but yesterday I just woke up and I feel like there’s something missing, something I want to do.
There’s this irrefutable feeling that I had been holding and no matter how I ignore it always creeps in. A certain feeling I cannot properly describe – I am happy and grateful with my life because I have a decent job that pays enough to sustain the lifestyle I chose - I get to have my own car, live a comfortable place, pay my bills, eat the food you wanted, go places, and a job that provides enough so that I can afford to have a hobby of scuba diving and freediving, which is really not a cheap hobby - and I am happy with that, I couldn’t ask for more. But there’s this space in between those happiness that I still yearn for —-
and I don’t know what it is. That makes me even frustrated.
And I look back at some things I used to do, like writing my thoughts, taking photographs, taking inspirations from the world I am traversing in.
Then maybe by starting this again, by starting something I love then maybe just maybe, things will slowly come into me and make sense on what I really wanted to do with my life - that missing piece that’s making me feel incomplete.
For now, I will just enjoy the moment and be grateful for whatever I have right now.